Money Out of Thin Air or Tale About $100 and The Door (translation from Russian)

Публикуется по просьбам трудящихся – скорее всего временно: this is not written by zed244 –  it is a translation of the  text in Russian at http://www.avanturist.org/blog/post/28 . More of the same author here http://tinyurl.com/43b9pmy (in Russian) – highly recommended.

For those who want a touch of  reality – as of 21 of September 2011  – it is  here

Quote”..To support a stronger economic recovery and to help ensure that inflation, over time, is at levels consistent with the dual mandate, the Committee decided today to extend the average maturity of its holdings of securities. The Committee intends to purchase, by the end of June 2012, $400 billion of Treasury securities with remaining maturities of 6 years to 30 years and to sell an equal amount of Treasury securities with remaining maturities of 3 years or less..”

Money Out of  Thin Air or Tale About $100 and The Door

Let say we – I, You and Chronoscopist – were on a plane across the Pacific Ocean. While on board, we consumed substantial amount of absinthe, kicked up a row and in the process tore off a door to the toilet. For our noble deeds we were promptly thrown out of the plane via emergency exit. Luckily, next to where we plunged into the water, was a small nameless Polynesian island. After we climbed on its soil, we held a short council and decided to name the island The United States of Absinthe (USA).

Naturally, when we were thrown out of the plane, they forgot to return us our luggage. As the result, all our tangible and intangible assets consisted of the toilet door, which You forgot to leave on the plane and a single $100 note which You discovered in your wallet. Thus all non-financial assets of our USA consist of one toilet door, and all financial, aka “money supply”, of a single $100 note. This is all our country has. Since we have nothing else, it can also be said that our material assets – the toilet door, supports (secures) the money supply of $100. Or, in other words, our door costs $100.

Still under the influence of absinth, we decide that we need to start getting the things organised. The Chronoscopist, proved to be the shrewdest – he announces that he opened a bank and is ready to accept deposits from the island’s population and promises to pay 3% interest annually. You give him your $100 and he writes it under “Liabilities” -> “Deposit Accounts” in his book.

But I am too not just out of the woods – indeed, after so many years I spent investigating economic swindles, I now know how to expropriate your door and your $100. I offer You 5% interest on your $100. I tear off a sheet of paper from my notebook and write “Bond Certificate of USA. Issued for the amount $100 at 5% interest, paid annually”. You feel that You have drawn a full hand. You withdraw your money from the deposit account You have with the disappointed Chronoscopist and give it to me in exchange for my Bond. I take your $100 and immediately deposit it into my account with now smiling Chronoscopist.

Ideally, we could have stopped right here and then, and start doing something real, say, shake the palm tree or try to collect shell fish – to eat our bread in the sweat of our faces, so-to-speak. But you all know that I am indefatigable financial genius, and I am not interested in the petty things such as coconuts and oysters. After a refreshing tour of our island – 50 steps from South to North and 30 from West to East, I invent an ingenuous combination. I approach You and offer You to earn an additional 1% annually. You should take a loan in Chronoscopist’s  bank at 4% and use it to buy from me another USA Bond at 5% interest. This second Bond Certificate for $100 I have just written, and now I wave it in front of your nose. Immediately You rush to the bank and borrow $100 there, using my first Bond as a security. The Bank has the money – I put it there on my deposit account. You give me the $100 You have borrowed and put the second USA Security Bond into your wallet. Now You have $200 worth of USA Bonds. I put $100 in the Bank – now I have $200 on my deposit account. Chronoscopist jumps from joy – his credit business is growing up!

Do you really think I am going to stop there? Hold your horses – I have already written a third USA Bond for You. You rush to the Bank to borrow another $100, secured this time with my second Bond. Closer to the night, got tired of running around the island with this single $100 note and having used all pages in my diary to write USA Bonds, we have the following results: You have $5,000 worth of USA Bonds, while I have $5,000 deposited on my account.

Now I feel that this is the right time to expropriate your toilet door. I offer to buy it from You for $100. But You do not want to sell the only toilet door on the island for $100 and ask $1,000. Well, I agree  – after all I have $5,000 on my deposit account. I use the last page left in my diary to write a Payment Order to Chronoscopist to transfer $1,000 from my account to yours – and take your door.

If this accounting is given to an American economist, he or she will inform you that our USA had $1,000 in assets in the form of toilet door and $10,000 financial assets in bank deposits and USA Bonds. Which means that our combined wealth increased 110 fold in one day. Well, a less refined and educated observer, might say that we are the three idiots, because by the end of the day we still have nothing but the same one toilet door and $100, and that only complete imbeciles could have spent the whole day tearing sheets out of their diaries to write nonsense, instead of collecting coconuts or shell fish. Who of the two is correct –you, the Reader, should decide yourself.

2008

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Diary of An American Boy

 (edit October 2018) and do not miss this

https://www.rt.com/news/440616-stoltenberg-serbia-nato-bombing/

‘We bombed you to save you’ – #NATO head Stoltenberg speaks about 1999 bombings on visit to #Serbia — RT World News   – there is a direct reference in the “Diary” (2008) about this attitude

============================

Diary of American Boy

04/03/2007

My name is Michael Dawn. I live in the US. My country is in the center of rotation of the Earth and the Sun. Recently I did a research project about this and I got high distinction.

Today I woke up early and immediately measured my weight. Hurray! I lost another 0.4 lbs. And now my weight is only 320 lbs . Just a month ago it was 322 lbs. Back then my Dad said that if I didn’t loose weight, I wouldn’t be able to date girls. As a matter of fact, I prefer boys, because dating girls is not cool. After that I had my breakfast. It was a diet – corn flakes with reduced-fat milk and two toasts with jam. For a dessert I had four double hamburgers. The breakfast was fun. We had a who-farts-louder competition with my Dad. I won. Now Dad owes me $5. If he doesn’t pay up by the evening – I sue the shit out of him.

My school is way too far – almost half a mile. I’m lucky that I have a car. Today’s traffic was OK, so it took me only one hour to get to the school. Lessons were boring, as usual. For example, on American history lesson the teacher was telling us a bullshit – that America was discovered by Columbus. How could such a dork get teacher’s certificate?! Elementary logic tells you that America was discovered by us, Americans. That is why it is called “America”.

But Geography lesson was cool. Boy, how many awesome things happen in the world! For example, the teacher told us about this country Africa. Many years ago, in its capital, Egypt, we, the Americans, built triangular skyscrapers but now there live the evil Russian mummies. Just why these Russians interfere with everything we do?

In the evening I went to a party at my friend Leslie’s house. Everyone thinks that the party was cool. There were about 40 of us. My friend Jimmy stole two bottles of beer from his father. That was clearly too much because we barfed Leslie’s pool into a stinky pot liqueur pond. Sam thinks that was because we blew couple of sticks made from what Leslie had near his swimming pool. Me, I barfed into the pool for the shear fun. Anyways, one brick for all of us is just a normal daily dose to keep the lungs trained and head clear. Hey, even my grandmother smokes more after the breakfast every day.

04/07/2007

Today is a holiday. I wanted to sleep a bit longer, but my Dad made me play baseball on the front lawn. Actually, it was really cool – we were throwing the ball to each other from three meters for three hours in a row. Remarkable sport and very intellectual!

After lunch my Dad made us watch President Bush’s TV address. We had a good time: we ate pop-corn and listened to the President. He was explaining why it was important for the US to bomb every undemocratic country – because when there is no democracy, people only listen to what is coming from  above and so the bombing was an ingenious way to explain to the primitive peoples what the US democratic ideals were about. I could never understand why these idiots protested when we bombed them. Because without our bombing they would never know the taste of coca-cola and hamburgers and thus they wouldn’t be able to build a true democracy. God save USA – the country which is always ready to help everyone. After watching Bush’s address, we sang “God Bless America” and wept, feeling our greatness and great responsibility for the mission entrusted to every American by God Himself.

Today our teacher gave us an exciting lesson about this remarkable discipline – Geography. He told us about a far-away undemocratic country  called Russia. I new a lot about this savage country even without his lesson. For example, everyone knows that Russians are a cross-breed between a bear and a human, they eat birch and drink pure alcohol, live in deep burrows in taiga (which is a Russian jungle), and during their celebrations they put Kremlin on fire and dance around it. But now, after the lesson, I know about Russia much more then its inhabitants. For example, I know that in this country there are immense deposits of American oil and gas. When we need them – we will come to claim our property. There are deposits of vodka in Russia and black and red caviar  and mushrooms are mined in open pits. All this treasure is used by the Russians in a truly barbarian style: they drink and eat it, thus robbing us – the future generations of Americans. Russia is a true Empire of Evil!

 

After school I went to my psychoanalyst. I visit him twice a week. He gives me advice on  how to enjoy life. Today he taught me how to flash the toilet after use. All my life I was wondering why our toilet stinks so much.

In the night before going to bed, I played Tetris. Cool action! I was cut on the third level, though. After that I searched porno-sites on the web – http://www.whitehouse.gov/ and http://www.defense.gov/. Their banging is not for kids! I put a photo of Monica Lewinsky on my desk and, satisfied with my day and my right hand, I went to sleep. When I grow up I want to become a President of USA and ride in White House lifts all day! Or, maybe ,  join The Australian Defense Force Academy.

04/24/2007

During math lesson today we were learning how to count to ten. Math is hard. Now I understand why they start teaching it only at college. I managed to count to seven from the first try. My teacher said it was very good.

During lunch break Bob showed me a hand gun he borrowed from his Dad and then began shooting the girls. It was a huge fun! The girls screamed and tried to escape, but Bob always managed to catch them up and shoot a control shot into their heads. Then police arrived and arrested Bob even though they knew he did not mean anything bad. Immediately after that we were allowed to go home.

05/08/2007

 

Today we had an unusual history lesson. The teacher told us that exactly 28 years ago, the US troops captured Berlin and defeated Germany. Apparently, in 1958, bloody dictator Saddam Hussein, who was ruling Germany at that time, attacked London and bombed its capital Warsaw. Germans on tanks and bicycles captured Paris, Brussels, Kiev and Birobidjan. After Birobijan had fallen, the USA lost their patience and joined the war. In the beginning, the Germans were bombed in Afghanistan, then in Syria, then in Disneyland. The Germans were forced to retreat. Then American army surrounded Germany and using precision spot-target bombs, reduced to a rubble all of the Berlin and then put our proud stars-and-stripes flag on the top of Eiffel tower. Saddam Hussein was captured in Berlin’s suburbs, where he was hiding in the basement of a whorehouse. The bloody dictator was court-marshaled and then sent to serve his prison term first to Saint Helen Island and then to Guantanamo Bay. There he wrote numerous requests to CIA, asking to be publicly hanged. Eventually, all his wishes were generously granted, including the one where he asked to destroy all the evidence about the interrogation techniques used on him and his fellow prisoners. After the US victory, all the nations of the world applauded to the brave US soldiers and in their excitement , people were throwing to them their most valuable possessions – during the war, of course, it was food – mostly tomatoes and eggs. This was how the WWII came to an end and how the bloody dictators of the whole world came to understand that nobody can survive the coming of American democracy ….

Невниг пендосскава потсана

(* “pendosy” – Americans *)

3 апреля 2005 года
Меня зовут Майкл Даун. Я живу в США. Это такая страна, вокруг которой вращаются земля и солнце. Я недавно даже писал реферат на эту тему, и учитель поставил мне высший балл.Сегодня я встал рано. С утра сразу же взвесился. Ура! Я похудел еще на 200 граммов. И теперь мой вес составляет всего 145 кг. А ведь месяц назад было 146! Но папа сказал, что если я не похудею, то со мной девочки встречаться не будут. А вообще-то я предпочитаю мальчиков, ведь с девочками встречаться – это так старомодно. Потом я позавтракал. Завтрак у меня получился диетическим – овсяные хлопья с обезжиренным молоком и два обжаренных тоста с джемом. В качестве легкого десерта я съел 4 двойных гамбургера.
За завтраком было весело. Мы с отцом соревновались, кто громче пукнет. Громче получилось у меня. Отец теперь должен мне 5 баксов. Если к вечеру не отдаст – засужу.
Моя школа находится далеко от дома – в 500 метрах. Хорошо, что у меня есть машина. Поэтому добрался всего за час, в пробках сегодня пришлось стоять совсем недолго. Уроки были скучными. Например, на истории учитель нес какую-то чушь о том, что Америку открыл Колумб. Как таких в учителя берут!? Ведь элементарная логика говорит о том, что Америку открыли мы, американцы. Потому-то она и называется Америка.
Интереснее было на географии. Как много интересного в мире происходит! Например, учитель рассказал, что есть такая страна как Африка. В ее столице – Египте – находятся треугольные небоскребы, в которых обитают злые русские мумии. И почему эти русские нам нигде покоя не дают?..
Вечером я пошел на вечеринку к Лесли. Нас было человек 40. Мой друг Джим стащил у отца 2 бутылки пива. Мы так все перепились, что заблевали бассейн.

7 апреля.

Сегодня выходной. Хотелось подольше поспать, но отец заставил меня играть в бейсбол на лужайке перед домом. Сначала было скучно, но потом я втянулся. Ведь это так увлекательно – три часа подряд бросать друг другу мячик с расстояния в 3 метра. Замечательный вид спорта и очень интеллектуальный!
После обеда отец заставил меня смотреть по ТВ обращение президента Буша. Мы классно провели время: ели поп-корн и слушали президента. Он говорил о том, как важно для Америки всех бомбить, потому что иначе все эти примитивные народы не понимают, какое счастье несет им наша страна. Мне всегда было непонятно, почему эти дураки возмущаются, когда мы их бомбим. Ведь без этого они никогда не узнают вкус кока-колы и гамбургера, а, значит, не построят демократии. Боже, храни Америку – страну, готовую осчастливить любого. А если кто-то не хочет быть счастливым – мы его всегда можем заставить. После просмотра обращения Буша мы всей семьей долго пели американский гимн и плакали от осознания своего величия и понимания божественной миссии, которая нам доверена Господом.
За ужином мы с отцом опять устроили соревнования на самый громкий пук. Победила наша собака. Она это сделала так громко, что испуганные соседи с криками “Русские идут!” спрятались в подвале. Выманивать их пришлось до самой ночи. Пока я наконец не сообразил им сказать, что завтра в ближайшем супермаркете будет распродажа, и они смогут купить электрические поповытиралки на 10 центов дешевле обычной цены. Сразу же выскочили…
Все, я решил – обязательно стану географом. Хочу так же, как и они, изучать эту прекрасную науку – геометрию. Сегодня наш учитель провел замечательное занятие! Он рассказывал о далекой стране под названием Россия. Я и раньше много знал об этом диком государстве. Например, всем хорошо известно, что русские – это помесь медведя с человеком, которые питаются спиртом и березами, живут в тайге в глубоких норах, а по праздникам поджигают Кремль и водят вокруг него хороводы.
После рассказа учителя я знаю о России, наверное, больше самих ее жителей. Например, в этой стране находятся американские резервы нефти и газа. Когда они нам понадобятся, мы за ними приедем. Кроме того, в России есть месторождения черной и красной икры, а также залежи водки и блинов. Эти богатства русские тратят по варварски: съедают и выпивают, обделяя будущие поколения американцев. Настоящая империя зла!
После школы я пошел к психоаналитику. Я посещаю его дважды в неделю. Он мне дает советы и учит, как жить. Сегодня он научил меня смывать за собой в уборной. А я-то думал, почему у нас в туалете всегда так воняет. Надо рассказать своим – семья еще не знает…
Вечером играл в тетрис. Убойный экшн! На третьем уровне меня срезали… Потом полазил по
порносайтам www. pentagon.com и www. whitehouse.org. Вставляет не по-детски+
Удовлетворенный проведенным днем и своей правой рукой, лег спать…

24 апреля.

Сегодня на математике учились считать до десяти. Тяжелая эта наука. Теперь понятно, почему ее у нас начинают изучать только в старших классах. Я дошел до 7. Учитель меня похвалил. Я его тоже.
Потом была физкультура. Пока мои приятели подглядывали в душе за девчонками, я
подглядывал за физруком. Так увлекся, что не заметил, как все уже помылись и стали
подглядывать за мной.
На большой перемене Боб принес отцовский пистолет и начал стрелять по девчонкам. Вот была потеха! Девчонки визжали, пытались убегать, но Боб их догонял и добивал контрольным выстрелом в голову. Потом приехала полиция, и Боба почему-то забрали. А ведь он просто развлекался+ Нас сразу же отпустили по домам.

8 мая.

Сегодня был необычный урок истории. Учитель рассказал нам, как ровно 28 лет назад
американские войска взяли Берлин и победили Германию. Оказывается, в 1958-м году
кровавый диктатор Садам Хусейн, который в то время руководил Германией, напал на Лондон и бомбил его столицу Варшаву. Немцы на танках и велосипедах захватили Париж, Брюссель, Киев и Биробиджан. После захвата Биробиджана у Соединенных Штатов кончилось терпение, и они вступили в войну. Сначала немцев бомбили в Афганистане, затем в Сирии, затем в Диснейленде. Немцы стали отступать. Потом американские войска окружили Германию и точечными ударами разрушили весь Берлин, водрузив звездно-полосатый флаг над Эйфелевой башней. Саддама Хусейна выловили в берлинском пригороде, где он прятался в подвале супермаркета. Кровавого диктатора судили и отправили на каторгу на остров Святой Елены. А
все народы мира в едином порыве аплодировали храбрым солдатам армии США и бросали в них цветы, фрукты и овощи. Вот так и закончилась вторая мировая война ,после которой всем кровавым диктаторам стало ясно: от демократии еще никто живым не убегал…

11 мая.

Сегодня после школы нас водили на экскурсию в картинную галерею. Нашли чем удивить: мазня какая-то, бабы голые. Я в Интернете и лучше видел. Джим прикололся и прилепил жвачку к какой-то картинке на стене. А Лесли отломал палец у скульптуры.
Когда наш автобус уже отъезжал, в галерее началась паника. Какая-то старая баба бегала и кричала: “Она же стоит полтора миллиона долларов!”. Мы с Джимом и Лесли подмигнули друг другу, ведь это был наш вклад в мировую культуру. Мы поступили как настоящие американцы.
Вечером с отцом ходили на хоккей. Начался первый период, и мне прямо в лоб прилетела шайба. Очнулся в больнице. Доктора удивленно качали головой: ну надо же, даже сотрясения мозга нет.

News.Udaff.Com :: Найдено в Тырнете :: Караван – Невниг пендосскава потсана

http://news.udaff.com/index.php?cat=links&news=1272 12/20/2007__

interview – Elena Lukianenko to Kasparov.ru

from http://www.kasparov.ru/material.php?id=4FCFB9F75F019&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=twitterfeed

(Elena Lukianenko interview  on Kasparov.ru – from an old private post)

“.. я всегда привожу в пример великого доктора Пирогова, который на одной из своих публичных лекций дважды на присланные ему записки ответил: “Не знаю”. Тогда его спросили: “Профессор, за что же вам платят деньги, если вы ничего знаете?” Он ответил: “Мне платят деньги за то, что я знаю. Если бы мне платили за то, что я не знаю, ваше государство вылетело бы в трубу”.

“.. I frequently quote a prominent Russian doctor ,Pirogov, who once, during his public lecture, twice replied “I don’t know”  to the  written questions from his student auditorium. But when someone asked him “Professor, if you know nothing, then what are  you being paid your salary for? “, Pirogov replied “I am paid for what I know. If I were paid for things I don’t know, your government would be bankrupt”

What One Fool Can Do, Another Can Too (updated)

In my previous post I speculated that Mr. Browder’s latest campaign could be an indication of where he invested his money this time. It appears that there are other  businessmen who  share a similar belief and who are presently investing into the same stock and the same way i.e. using Browder’s “investment model” and even not without similarly peculiar references to their links with “Communism”.

Mr. Valery Morozov, a wealthy Russian businessman, is now following Browder’s track and trying to reclaim what he believes was his rightful property, unlawfully taken by Russian corporate mafia. In Morozov’s case this was a lucrative government contract for which he faithfully paid more that USD 4 million in bribes to a Deputy-Chief of  Capital Construction Office Management Department of the President, Mr. Leshevsky,  to secure. But later  the contract was taken from his company and the bribe, quite naturally, was not returned. Rightfully offended in his best feelings, Mr. Morozov arranged with the Economic Crime Department of Russian MVD (bribed them too?) to conduct a series of official recordings of the facts of transferring the bribes to above mentioned Mr. Leshevsky. As one would expect, after collecting the evidence, the department informed Mr. Morozov that they won’t be able to proceed with the case. Mr. Morozov had been an “apparatchik” in the Communist Party of USSR and,  perhaps shares the feelings of a personage of the famous Soviet-era film that “The Soviet court – is the most just court in the world”. And so that was the place Morozov decided to seek the justice – in the court. Since the court was not Soviet anymore, it informed Mr. Morozov that his claims were denied on all counts not the least because the recorded evidence against Mr. Leshevsky was “erased in accordance with the standard procedure.”  To be fair to the Russian justice,  one needs to notice that the court also informed Mr. Morozov and his wife (who too paid bribes to Mr. Leshevsky during the recorded experiments)  that they won’t be persecuted . In this the court was, perhaps, restrained by the fact that Mr. Morozov filed his complaint from Great Britain. Thus Mr. Morozov  was left  free to approach the Russian President and even got some results – so far.

One can get more insight into Mr. Morozov’s logic and his peculiar sense of justice from his interview (in Russian) to Novaya Gazeta.

Most interesting in this story is the fact, that the Russian justice system apparently has reached a qualitatively new, truly all-encompassing level – now even the people paying the bribes feel that they are entitled to a certain  level of legal protection.

Perhaps, it is the time to make an amendment to the Russian Constitution? Something like:

“All citizens of and visitors to  Russian Federation are entitled to receive and pay the bribes. The fact of accepting a bribe constitutes a legally binding contract”.

Then the Federal Criminal Law must be modified accordingly. It might be useful to adopt a new Moral Code for the members of the ruling party  too – something like this. An alternative to the constitutional change  would be  to modify the Government, MVD and the courts. All in one go. Like it was done in the Russian history once already. That is – if the Government is incapable of modifying itself.

UPDATE of 19 August : Not sure how to interpret this – a White Knight in the house,  just a part of power games (see comments) or both?

Moral Code of The Builder of Capitalism (Part 1)

“..It had been decided long ago “What Is To Be Done?” and there is a broad consensus on “Who Is To Blame?” – although the answer to the latter depends on which nation one belongs to. So the pertinent remaining question is “Where To Start?” And here I suggest to start with moral values – that was what people in Russia have been missing for all these years, right? The Moral Values of Capitalism. The Code of Capitalistic Conduct…”

The absence of clearly defined ideological basis of capitalism has worried me for some time already. Indeed – how can a country – for example, Russia- successfully finish the de-building™ of its bad socialism and replace it with a prosperous and happy capitalistic society if no one, it seems, had bothered to formulate the basic ideological principles? No wonder the process was slipping and halting and even after 20+ years still bears the marks of the imported  from and enforced by the US criminal “libertarianism” of the 90s.

It had been decided long ago “What Is To Be Done?” and there is a broad consensus on “Who Is To Blame?” – although the answer to this one depends on which nation one belongs to. So the pertinent remaining question is “Where To Begin?” And here I suggest to start with moral values – that was what people in Russia have been missing for all these years, right? The Moral Values of Capitalism. The Code of Capitalistic Conduct.

So, here you are – for your enjoyment and critical consideration is a draft of “The Moral Code of The Builder of Capitalism” to be discussed and I hope eventually approved by the future “Capitalistic Amalgamated Party of the United Territories” (CAPUT), which I am convinced will have to be created in the near future if only to preserve the spirit of this text.

In the left-hand-side column you find a translation of the original Moral Code of The Builder of Communism [1] which you can compare with the newly formulated Code on the right hand side. With this arrangement the unquestionable superiority of the latter can be clearly seen and appreciated. For non-monolingual people – ref. [2] contains the original text of the Code in Russian.

	Moral Code of the Builder of Communism		Moral Code of the Builder of Capitalism
1.	Devotion to the cause of Communism, love of the socialist Motherland and of the socialist countries.		Devotion to the cause of capitalism, love of the capitalist Motherland and of the other capitalist countries.
2.	Conscientious labor for the good of society: he who does not work, neither shall he eat.		Conscientious effort to obtain a direct government assistance, the government contracts or any other form of public money: those who don’t receive government funds, will only find themselves funding the government.
3.	Concern on the part of everyone for the preservation and growth of public property.		Concern on the part of everyone else for the preservation and growth of public property by them for you to use
4.	High sense of public duty; intolerance of actions harmful to the public interest.		High sense of capitalistic public duty and sanctity of (your) private property; intolerance of actions by others harmful to your private business interests.
5.	Collectivism and comradely mutual assistance: one for all and all for one.		Individualism and readiness to fight for your piece of pie: each one for himself, against everyone. Remember: the only goal of any business is to make the owner richer than other people, so the others might be permitted to benefit only if it cannot be avoided.
6.	Humane relations and mutual respect between individuals: man is to man a friend		Show humility and do respect the potential strength of others – up until you have measured them up: human humanum lupus est. Remember: competition is the primary driving force of capitalism. Elimination of the competition is the fastest road to your financial success.
7.	Honesty and truthfulness, moral purity, unpretentiousness and modesty in social and private life.		Public display of appearance of honesty and truthfulness, libertarian moral purity Friedman-style, unpretentiousness and modesty in social and private life (so as not to disturb the plebs too much).
8.	Mutual respect in the family, concern for the upbringing of children.		Mutual respect in the own family – proportional to the individual contributions to the family budget, concern for the upbringing of your own children in accordance with this code. Remember that your family are just people – they are as much after your money as anyone else.
9.	Irreconcilability towards injustice, parasitism, dishonesty, careerism, and profiteering.		Irreconcilability towards unjust distribution of unearned income to others, including social benefits. Fight dishonesty, careerism and all other attempts of profiteering by hired labor force.
10.	Friendship and brotherhood among all peoples of the USSR, intolerance of national and racial hatred.		If and when – and only if & when – this helps your business – open and public display of friendship and brotherhood among all people, intolerance of national and racial hatred. In other cases you will be a fool not to use such inexpensive tool as racism to efficiently reduce the cost of hired labor.
11.	Intolerance towards the enemies of communism, peace, and freedom of nations.		Intolerance towards the enemies of capitalism, enemies of peace (if you are not in defense industry) and enemies of the freedom of other nations to follow your nation’s understanding of economic liberty principles appropriate for them.
12.	Fraternal solidarity with the working people of all countries, and with all peoples.		Fraternal solidarity with capitalists of all countries up until you see a chance to rip them off dry.

PS. On a (slightly) more serious note – I am not a communist, have never been one and most likely will never be – because I haven’t yet met sufficiently large number of people ready to live strictly by the rules in the left-hand-side column above. “Sufficiently large” – to form a party, that’s it. Perhaps, this shortage was the reason why the “communism” as economic system had never worked as intended. But neither did pure (“wild”) capitalism – as Russian experience of 90s demonstrated all too clearly.

Despite all the libertarian claims, I doubt that anybody will be able to explain you how a society organized as outlined in this Moral Code of a Capitalist can survive or even function. The truth is most likely (as always) somewhere in the middle – the libertarian model can work only as long as it has a good-sized “communist” feedback loop to channel the stolen or otherwise appropriated money back to the population. Otherwise there is simply nothing to prevent the capitalists from following the above Code to the letter – and far beyond. Certainly there are no built-in moral norms there, other than the residuals of the (dying) religious code .

You may want to ask why then the communist economic model was not viable. The answer to this is most likely the inherently contagious nature of the attitudes described in the right-hand side column – they simply force a protective reaction in the environment. It is a positive feedback – it spreads like a decease. The government will increase law enforcement once they see their money are efficiently wasted just for sport – which will only further stimulate the creativity of the businessmen trying to get them. Ordinary citizens when they see that this guy over there thinks nothing of taking their last dollar even when he does not need it, will then suspect that everyone is like that and thus eventually will act in a similar fashion. Foreign countries will built-up armies and erect custom barriers to protect themselves from overzealous hunters of their natural & other resources etc. In contrast, the “communist” behavior does not multiply. It is a natural defensive mechanism which forces people to remember a single accident when they were hurt (or robbed) by others much better, than hundreds acts of good will on their behalf.

Oh – and to remind you the definition of what is a “Russian Joke” – it is the one where there is more truth than a “joke”. And another one – if you ask me what Google Blogs does to the standard HTML formatted tables – in all honesty – I don’t know.

..and just the reality check from here

‘…Нужно относиться к партии, как к фирме. Если я вкладываю во власть, то я хочу получить больше власти… Если необходимо, надо уметь менять союзников. Слишком принципиальные партии долго не живут. Умейте продавать себя… нам необходимо наладить диалог, надо работать с капиталистами или инвесторами и объяснять, чтобы они в нас вкладывали деньги под общие задачи… Впрочем, если вы будете спать, ничего страшного, коллеги, не произойдет. Мы будем рассматривать вашу партию как прицепной вагон, а кочегарить будем сами…’. В. Сурков

References:
1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moral_Code_of_the_Builder_of_Communism (translation)
2. http://www.gumer.info/bibliotek_Buks/History/Article/mor_kod.php (original in Russian)

‘…Нужно относиться к партии, как к фирме. Если я вкладываю во власть, то я хочу получить больше власти… Если необходимо, надо уметь менять союзников. Слишком принципиальные партии долго не живут. Умейте продавать себя… нам необходимо наладить диалог, надо работать с капиталистами или инвесторами и объяснять, чтобы они в нас вкладывали деньги под общие задачи… Впрочем, если вы будете спать, ничего страшного, коллеги, не произойдет. Мы будем рассматривать вашу партию как прицепной вагон, а кочегарить будем сами…‘.В. Сурков